


A Chip in A Pocket

by Badgermole



Series: Colors [14]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Autism, Bonding, Colors, Flashbacks, Gen, Nonverbal Communication, Sobriety, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-09
Updated: 2019-11-09
Packaged: 2021-01-25 22:46:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21363898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Badgermole/pseuds/Badgermole
Summary: It’s Dee’s first time watching over Virgil alone. Dee reflects on what he’s learned about the Purple Boy.(Just read it, Nike swoosh)
Series: Colors [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1184909
Comments: 17
Kudos: 247





	A Chip in A Pocket

**Author's Note:**

> I’m still around! I have a number of stories in my head it’s just hard putting them down.  
Anyway, this might be a bit all over the place but hopefully it’s good! Enjoy!

To say Dee was nervous might have been an understatement. He was more nervous than his wedding day, the birth of his son, or even the many many first days of school. Today he was going to be left alone with Virgil. Dee had only really interacted with Virgil a few times. There was so much he needed to learn. He wasn’t even close to being comfortable.

He wasn’t prepared. 

But he would be lying to himself if he said he didn’t know anything.

  1. _ Colors were incredibly important to Virgil_

Dee pulled at the collar of his yellow button-down shirt. Logan had invited him over for another one of their ‘secret’ meetings; where Virgil and Patton were out of the house for various reasons. Dee had felt the intensity behind the simple text of  _ ‘We need to talk. Reply back with a set of good times.’  _ Logan was taking his jolly good time to let Dee know what was going on. The older of the two brothers had been wandering around his house, very obviously stalling. 

“You’re the one who invited me over.” Dee complained, getting to the end of his patience. 

Logan “finished’ doing whatever it was in the kitchen and smugly plopped himself down into the chair opposite his brother. Dee’s eyes immediately narrowed at the look on Logan’s face. He knew that look too well. That meant game over. It was the look Logan would give as he moved his piece into a checkmate. 

Dee gulped.

“It would seem,” Logan methodically folded his hands, “that Virgil has given you a color name.” 

A color name…? He knew that was important but his brain was running too quickly for him to figure it out. Logan’s smug facade started to drop away. Dee felt like steam was coming out of his ears as he worked furiously to pull the piece of information from the mess that was his brain. What was a color name?

“Oh my god. He did?” Dee asked excitedly. A color name: how Virgil identified people; something he reserved for people he really liked and trusted.

Dee. Had. A. Color. Name.

“Dandelion.” 

……………………………………..

“So, both you and Logan are Blue?” Dee asked looking up from his pocket notebook. It was supposed to be a tracker for every time he lied and drank, but it was slowly being filled with everything he was learning about Virgil.

“Yup!” Patton said cheerfully. While Logan and Dee had their own ‘secret’ meetings, so did Patton and him. Patton’s secret meetings were much more casual and calm. The pair would meet at a local cafe and just talk. Dee assumed that that was what it was like to have a friend.

“How do you even tell that apart?” 

“Well,” Patton paused, tapping his chin while he thought, “Sometimes it’s tough but Purple does do some little inflections.” Patton just shrugged. “It’s mostly just those subconscious type things that you learn without realizing you learn it.” 

Dee rubbed his face. What was that supposed to mean? The two fell into a comfortable silence as the waiter dropped off their sandwiches.

“On the topic of colors, I don’t know if Logan has mentioned it yet but Virgil doesn’t do well with the color yellow.” 

Dee stared down at his yellow shirt. His wardrobe was mostly yellow button downs. “Yellow is- It was my wife’s favorite color.”

_ “Favorite color?”  _

_ “Red.”  _

_ Sandy frowned slightly. Her face didn’t look right with a frown on it. “The last time I asked you it was teal.”  _

_ Dee shrugged. “What about your favorite color?” _

_ The frown stayed for a few seconds before melting away into a smile that lit up her face. “Yellow.” _

_ Dee couldn’t hold back a snort, leading once again for the frown to take over her face, but only for a few seconds. _

_ “It’s a gender neutral color… but it’s happiness and light. It’s life and flowers. It’s warm but not hot like red. Yellow is comforting. It’s just the right amount. But it’s also delicate. It takes barely anything for it to be corrupted into something else. It’s so easy to make it some ugly color.” _

“Oh Dee, I’m so sorry.” Patton gently grabbed Dee’s hand. “It’s just… It’s enough that Logan doesn’t keep bananas or lemons or even Cheerios in the house.”

Dee nodded still staring into his shirt. Yellow was one of the few things that Dee had from his wife. The conversation ended up disappearing after that while the two finished their sandwiches.

Eventually Dee was the one to get up to leave, he had a job interview to get to. Patton grabbed Dee’s arm before he turned to leave.

“You’re not one of those ugly yellows.” 

  1. _ Virgil did something called ‘stimming.’_

Dee smiled as he watched the purple blob that was his so- his nephew run around the mostly deserted playground. It was the first time in years that he was actually, truly seeing him. It wasn’t his fuzzy memories from before the fire and it wasn’t a glimpse through the crack of a door. There was his honest-to-God real boy having fun chasing after the kid in the Disney prince costume. 

Through the bars of the playground, Dee could see Patton casually conversing with the prince boy’s father. He made a mental note to learn their names. That was something a fath- an uncle would know. The sound of pages turning caused the bow-tie clad man to turn to his left. His brother was seated on the bench next to his own, reading some random book and not at all paying any attention to Virgil.

Dee hadn’t exactly been invited to the playdate. He was instead told that the Sanders family would be at the park that morning. It bothered Dee, but he understood that he had showed up unannounced a few days ago and that Virgil would need time. Honestly, just being able to see Virgil had gotten rid of all those negative feelings.

“I’m happy that you decided to stop by.” Logan didn’t raise his head from the book.

“I’m serious about being in his life.” Dee retorted and crossed his arms looking back across the playground.

The brothers fell into a tense silence. Logan focused on his book and Dee focused on Virgil. 

“Uhm… Is Virgil okay?” Dee’s eyes were locked on the purple boy.

Logan snapped his head up. Virgil was standing slightly off to the side of the playground. He had his right arm wrapped tightly over his chest. His left hand kept pulling and pushing the beanie around on his head. Dee thought he looked in a great deal of distress but Logan wasn’t doing anything. 

Logan’s eyes quickly swept the playground. Roman was talking with another younger kid. Red and Purple rarely separated but sometimes Roman just had ‘royal’ situations that needed his attention - like helping this younger kid overcome his fear of going down the big slide. The younger kid hadn’t been there originally and Logan finally noticed that the park had started to fill up with families. 

“He’s a bit overwhelmed with all of the people here now. Applying pressure to his chest and the sensation of the beanie on his head help him process what is going on and manage his emotions. It’s a technique called stimming.” 

“Stimming.” Dee repeated to himself as Logan dropped the bookmark between the book’s pages and headed off to wrangle his boyfriend and son back home.

……………………………………..

Virgil was stimming again. Dee supposed that he never really stopped, but it was one of those big stimming episodes. Virgil always seemed in distress to Dee but every time he’d point it out, Logan would glance over for a few seconds before more or less shrugging and walking away.

A list of different stims were now next to Dee’s notes on colors in his notebook. He didn’t have meanings but identifying what they were was the first step toward understanding this whole stimming thing.

Dee snuck a look out of the corner of his eye down to his shirt pocket. He had gone out a bought some non-yellow shirts but he couldn’t let the yellow go. So he had stuck a yellow handkerchief into the pocket. Looking down, he could see the folded cloth but if you were looking at him you couldn’t see it.

He hesitantly patted it while he watched Virgil. As a guy with half his face covered in burns, one would’ve thought he knew better than to stare but he just couldn’t stop himself. Virgil had been alternating between laying on the floor and pressing himself into the couch. Currently he was on his stomach picking at the carpet letting and out a continuous hum.

Laying face down on the floor was really only reserved for black-out drunks, drug overdoses, or dead bodies. Dee was not going to admit the number of times he had woken up hung-over in the same position. But Virgil wasn’t any of those things. 

Logan had said that the stimming thing helped the person feel calm. If Dee thought about it, he was, in fact, a bit nervous. So the grown man got off the couch and wandered around to the open area on the other side of the coffee table. After double checking there was enough space and both Blues were away in the kitchen, Dee laid down flat on his stomach. 

Virgil froze, his big eyes peeking out from beneath his purple beanie. Dee tried to act natural as he let the carpet move between his fingers. Dee tried to focus on the new sensations, he didn’t want to have disrupted Virgil.

“Dan-” Logan blinked at the state of his living room. Both Virgil and Dee were laying on the carpet humming and running their hands through the soft material.

“Yes, well, I’ll just leave you two alone.” Logan whispered over the quiet hum and ducked back into the kitchen. 

  1. _ Virgil didn’t talk but he did communicate. _

“I don’t get it… I thought you said Vir- Purple didn’t talk.” Dee turned away from Virgil and Logan who were sitting together at the table going over schoolwork. They had been at it for a while, Logan occasionally commenting and sounding like he was having a conversation but Dee hadn’t heard anything from Virgil. Logan wasn’t one to put on a show, so Virgil and him had to be having a conversation. 

Patton looked up from the dishes he was cleaning. Soapy water dripped off his hands onto his shoes as he leaned backward to spot the father and son pair. Doing his worksheets was always tough. It wasn’t that he didn’t know the answer or how to get the answer, it just always seemed to agitate him.

“Purp isn’t very verbal, but he does talk with us.” Patton smiled at Dee’s confused face before continuing on the dishes.

“Yeah… I don’t get it.” Dee shrugged.

“Okay,” Patton chuckled to himself. “You see there’s another bit of paper next to the worksheet?” 

Dee let out a small hum, he actually hadn’t noticed that before.

“That paper has a bunch of words on it. He can point to the words he wants to say. Or he’ll flick his eyes left or right for yes and no. Sometimes he makes noises or just the way he’ll stim or move himself.” 

Dee hadn’t noticed any of that.

“Purple lives in his own world most of the time, but he does pop out to say hello every once in a while. Don’t be hard on yourself, it takes a while to learn a new language.” 

……………………………………..

<Hi.>

“Uhm. Hi.” Dee stared down at Virgil’s word card. _ No eye contact.  _ Virgil didn’t like that and Dee didn’t want to scare him off. The pair had been sitting together on the couch for the past five or so minutes as Logan and Patton finished cleaning up from dinner. From the amount Virgil was stimming, Dee figured they had sent the boy over. Why else would he want to hang out with his scarred up creepy uncle who hit him in the face with a door?

<How are you?>

“I’m doing okay.” Dee continued hesitantly.

They fell into silence. Virgil’s fingers started twitching around the card, not touching any particular words. As Virgil’s fingers started moving faster, Dee realized he was probably meant to say something.

“How are you Purple?”

Virgil didn’t seem to respond as his fingers continued around the card. Maybe he needed to say something else? Luckily a few seconds later Virgil’s one hand pointed to another section.

<Wiggly mouth face.>

“Oh. Yeah… Uhm… me too.” 

Dee wasn’t quite sure when it happened but he found himself a pillow. Virgil was curled into Dee’s side, hidden in his sweatshirt and beanie. Dee’s lap held a color book, which reminded Dee too much of the paint section at home improvement stores. But it seemed to be Virgil’s prized possession aside from his crayons of course. 

Virgil would rapidly flip through the pages, stop on a seemingly random one, point out one of the many similarly colored squares, before repeating the process over and over again.

Dee started getting the feeling this was Virgil making sentences. Talking excitedly about something in a language only he knew. There were pauses and Virgil would stare at Dee’s stomach where Dee felt compelled to make some sort of comment, but Virgil would start his cycle again before Dee could get a word in. 

“I found it at a Home Depot.” Logan pointed to the book before sitting himself in his old arm chair. “I liked it for him because of all the colors. It was a paint swatch book. When we started with the word cards, he got even more attached to it.”

Logan smiled a tired smile down at his son. Dee nodded slowly, not wanting to disrupt Virgil. 

“I think it’s the grid nature. He speaks in color not words...The word cards got excitement from us and he started learning our language. He wants us to learn his.”

  
  
  


Dee’s heart stopped as Logan gave a small wave and disappeared out the front door saying he was off to get the pizza. When his heart started again, it pounded in his ears and his vision started to tunnel. 

Sure Patton was still upstairs but this was his test. He was alone with Virgil. He was the adult, the guardian, the one in charge. Was Virgil allergic to anything? What if he got hurt, he couldn’t tell Dee? What if he messed this up? 

A loud crash caused his thoughts to stretch to a halt.  _ Oh god, he’s smashed his head open. _ But Dee’s eyes finally processed the room around him.

Virgil giggles and rubbed his beanie as he dropped the coin onto the table. 

_ Clank! _

_ Clank! _

_ Clank! _

Dee took a few deep breaths getting his body to stop shaking. Virgil was fine. He was just playing with a coin... _ hold on. _

Dee knew that coin. It wasn’t a coin at all! He quickly patted every pocket he could think of. That was his sobriety poker chip. It was a nervous tick of his to run it around his own fingers. He must have unconsciously taken it out and Virgil grabbed it from him. 

Virgil wasn’t one to take things from people but as Dee watched, he realized the chip was purple. It was quite cute watching him play with something that meant so much to Dee without realizing it. But slowly the adrenaline started to disappear and Dee really needed the chip back. 

He needed to stay sober for Virgil. He needed to keep on the wagon. He needed the chip to do that.

“Purple. You can’t have that.” Dee suddenly overcome with panic. He needed it back.

It happened so quite and Dee didn’t realize his mistake until Virgil was ramming his hand against the beanie.

Dee touched him.

Oh god. He touched him.

“Geez. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I know- I shouldn’t have done that.” Dee shot up. “This...oh god.. I’m sorry. It’s just this is… um… it’s like your crayons. It’s very special to me…..I’m sorry Purple.”

Virgil was still running his hand against his head, but it seemed much calmer not as harsh as it had been originally. Dee watched sadly as he waddled up the stairs. 

_ He’s going to tell Patton on me. I’m going to get ratted out by my nonverbal nephew. _

Dee gave a small sad chuckle. He knew it wouldn’t last long. He messed up everything he touched.

It wasn’t long before Dee heard Virgil’s thumps as he headed back down the stairs. Dee waited ashamed for the louder steps of Patton. But as Virgil reached the end of the steps Patton was nowhere to be seen… or heard.

Virgil stopped in front of Dee and made a grabby hand motion toward Dee’s clenched hand.

“No.. um.. look Purple this is something special I got for being a good boy. I used to be very bad. And I got this because I was good and it helps make sure I keep being good…” Dee sat back onto the couch to be closer in height to his nephew.

Virgil huffed and pulled something from his hoodie. It was the picture from his night stand. Dee’s nose twitched and he tended slightly as Virgil shoved the photo toward Dee, his empty hand still make a grabby motion. 

“Is that special to you bud?” Dee sniffled as he took in the sight of the burnt and yellowing family photo. Sandy holding an impossibly small bundle that was Virgil and Dee beside her.

Virgil let out a noise, half whine half hum, as he made another grabby hand.

“No. Vir- Purple, I can't take that from you…” Virgil let out a mad grunt and was about to turn away. “ But… I trust you to keep this safe, okay? Just like your photo there.”

Virgil hummed and quickly snatched the chip away from Dee’s outstretched hand. He ran upstairs just as Logan walked through the front door. 

“What’s got him all excited?” Logan inquired as he toed off his shoes.

“Just some uncle-nephew bonding…” Dee stood and shook out his shoulders before going to help Logan with dinner.

**Author's Note:**

> There’s been a lot of Dee, but don’t worry! I plan on some good Logan-Virgil bonding for the next one!


End file.
